Decadent Divas: You Want Me to Settle? Hell No!

Friday, March 6, 2015

You Want Me to Settle? Hell No!

“Romance novels and romance novel heroes are unrealistic and a total fantasy.”

As a writer of romance novels, I hear this phrase often. As a single woman who writes romance novels, I hear this statement all of the time.

A few weeks ago a reporter asked me if romance novels should be used as guides for relationships, to which I answered “absolutely!” But often I am told that I am setting myself up for disappointment for believing that I could have a relationship like those in my books, and more specifically find a man who is like my heroes. I have been told that I need to lower my standards.

Excuse me? Back up. You want realistic? Let’s get real.

Take away the man chest book cover and let’s look inside at the men in my books. Here is what they all have in common:

*Kindness *Compassion *Intelligence *Courageous *Wicked Sense of Humor

*Loyal *Takes Pride in Their Appearance *Has the Ability to Rip it Up Between the Sheets

*Has Respect for Themselves and Others

So I ask, the man described above is a fantasy? Why? Some would say, “No one is perfect, Anna.” Ah, but notice I never mention perfection. Perfection is unrealistic. And my heroes are not perfect. They have their quirks and faults, sometimes they make poor choices, but at their core they are good human beings who find someone who inspires them to be a better person. Not perfect, better.

Of course the door swings both ways. As the heroine in my own story, I strive to be like the women in my books. Those characteristics are not that much different than my heroes. Compassion, kindness, possess a generosity of spirit, loyal, and holds respect for others. I won’t be a martyr and will ask for help when needed, but I’ll do all that I can to save myself. I take pride in my appearance and yes, I am adventurous in the bedroom. I will give as good as I get.

To the people of the world I say don’t lower your standards, instead rise them up! I am not going to settle, and I do not want to be the person someone else has settled for.